Finding Strength in Adversity

Life does not come with a manual, and none of us are immune to making mistakes. Some may be small and easy to move past, while others shake us to our core and redefine the way we see ourselves. These moments, while painful, can also become the foundation for profound growth and transformation. I know this because I have lived it.

The first step in growth is facing the mistake head-on. For me, this meant coming to terms with a choice that led to profound regret, a mistake that changed how I saw myself. Acknowledging the mistake ensured accountability while beginning the process of positive change.

My mistake caused shame, guilt, and an insurmountable amount anger at myself. I knew judgement was happening, but worst of all, was the feeling of letting my family down. I quickly experienced my families unwavering support, for as my mother said, “We are together in good and worst of times.” While I appreciated her sentiments, those feelings from the aftermath of the accident were hard to sit with, but I knew I needed to process them.

Journaling and meditation have always been a part of my weekly habits, but since the mistake, the practices took on a new meaning of self-reflection. My support also expanded to trusted loved ones who reminded me that my mistake did not erase the good in me, it simply meant a time for growth.

As I reflected, I realized my mistake had revealed areas I needed to address; from coping with loss to balancing life matters. These realizations were helpful rewards as they encouraged me to grow and to understand the changes I needed to make. Growth does not come from perfection; it comes from the willingness to learn and the willingness to never give up.

In the aftermath of my mistake, I felt a strong urge to do something meaningful, to transform my pain into something positive. I began donating to organizations like Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), volunteering in my community, attending workshops to share my story, but most of all, to be a support for others who needed care over judgment.

While I have always valued the importance of community service, I became more involved as giving back has always been integral to my personal goals. These actions reminded me of the power of purpose as a means to shape a better future for self and others.

Forgiving myself has been the hardest part of this journey. But through reflection and growth, I have learned that self-forgiveness is not about excusing the mistake; it is about accepting my humanity and giving myself permission to move forward.

Unfortunately, tragic mistakes are part of life’s unpredictable journey, but they do not have to define who we are. My mistake opened up new doors of opportunity: a new job with loving colleagues, starting a doctoral degree, embracing new friendships, and building a stronger martial bond and deeper connections with my family.

My mistake encouraged greater renewal despite the challenges that followed. While quick judgment from others proved painful, the words of Gabby Bernstein reminded me what judgment represents: “Judgment is a reflection of the person judging versus the person being judged.” 

As I continue to navigate this journey, I am learning to be gentler with myself. Mistakes are part of being human, but so is the capacity to grow and change. While I cannot erase the past, and golly knows I wish I could, I can choose to let it guide me toward a better version of myself. Each day, I remind myself that the hardest experiences often carry the most meaningful lessons. I have come to understand that moving forward is not about forgetting; it is about carrying those lessons with grace.

Caring for others has always been at the core of who I am, whether through acts of kindness, volunteering in my community, or spending time with those often overlooked. I was raised with strong morals, and I have done my best to live by them. While I made a serious mistake, I have worked hard to turn it into something meaningful. I have taken that experience, and the growth it demanded, and used it as the foundation for a life now guided by love, resilience, and a deep sense of purpose.

Mindfully curated by Debra Gudema for Well&Co. 

📸: Kinship